


The Rowdy Three Plus Two

by Nellblazer



Series: The Tarot Challenge [5]
Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Agoraphobia, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Panic Attacks, Romance, project incubus, psychic vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-19
Updated: 2021-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-28 18:14:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30143580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nellblazer/pseuds/Nellblazer
Summary: Day 5 of the Tarot Challenge is The LoversFinding you having a panic attack, The Rowdy Three take your energy to calm you down. After offering you a spot in their van and the chance to beat your agoraphobia, you start getting closer to Martin but fear he won’t feel the same way.*Please do not replicate my work anywhere else without my express permission*
Relationships: Martin/You, Martin/reader
Series: The Tarot Challenge [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2211630
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	The Rowdy Three Plus Two

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: Descriptions of panic attacks.  
> Prompt will appear within the text in bold

I don't know when the atmosphere between me and Martin changed but I just know that it did.

I'd been on the road with the Rowdy Three for a few months now, becoming their main food source. They didn't need to feed on any one else's energy when I provided a whole host of debilitating panic attacks they could leech from. That's how they found me in the first place.

I'd thought I was dying, the attack was so strong that my chest was incredibly tight and I couldn't breathe well. Trying to beat agoraphobia by sheer will and stubbornness alone was not going to work and I never should've tried to go into a crowd.

The Rowdy Three found me in an alleyway and surrounded my body on the floor. I thought I was going to get robbed or something worse. Instead, the four men just took deep intakes of breath and I felt my fear leave my body, like it was being drained right outta me.

The leader, Martin as I came to discover, offered his hand and pulled me upright.

“That's some goddamn Michelin star panic,” he whistles. “What got you so worked up?”

“Crowds,” my chest eases completely and I'm back to normal. “A lot of things really. What _was_ that? What did you do to me?”

“You wouldn't believe us if we said,” the youngest one had started laughing, just on the fine line of manic and insane.

“Uh...thank you, whatever that was. It really helped.”

“You get those often?” the leader asks. “The panic?”

“Regularly,” I get embarrassed and stare at the ground.

“Hey, don't be shy about it! We ain't been this fired up in a long time from energy!” one of the others pipes up.

“Cross, keep it calm,” the leader looks almost like he's on drugs, he's swaying with this half grin on his face. “Don't scare her. She's already given us a five course meal. Now, I'm gonna make you an offer, sweetheart. You want to be able to walk in crowds?”

“Yeah...” I reply hesitantly.

“Then come ride with us. We'll take care a' the panic when it comes.”

“Are you like...psychic vampires or something?”

The question sounded stupid at the time but given they'd already gotten rid of my fear, I was willing to suspend my disbelief.

“Pretty much,” he shrugs. “I'm Martin, the little one is Vogel, that's Cross and finally Gripps. They call us the Rowdy Three.”

“Three? But there's four of you?”

“Five if you're gonna join us,” he winks. “So what'll it be?”

I should've been more afraid of four sketchy looking guys with a sketchier van parked at the end of the alleyway but none of them were looking at me in a sexual way. They just seemed mildly excited by the prospect of me joining them.

“You just...drive around in that thing?” I nod to the van.

“Open road, nomad lifestyle,” Gripps smiles widely. “No rules.”

Could I really leave everything behind? No job, no home...but also freedom. If they could help me every time I had an attack, I could stop being a prisoner of my own anxieties. Surely that was a better life?

“Can I go pick up some clothes first?” I ask.

“Yeah, come on. You can ride front with me,” Martin leads me to the vehicle and I hop in, really hoping I've made the right choice here.

But it turns out I did make the right choice.

The Rowdy Three were nothing but gentlemen to me. In time, they even came to call me 'Boss' because I'd take care of them, corral them when they got too jittery on my energy and became something of a mother figure.

Martin, however, treated me like an equal and we'd sometimes have long and deep talks whilst sat on the roof of the van whilst the others snored away in their deck chairs by the little campfire. I think we just naturally grew a little closer.

I couldn't exactly pinpoint when I started looking at him in a different light, possibly when he beat some guy with a baseball bat for coming onto me too strongly, maybe when he saved me the last candy bar in his multipack, perhaps even when he threw a blanket over me as I fell asleep on top of the van and kept me warm by cuddling up to me.

I just knew that I was falling for him, pining for him even and that was likely a bad idea. I didn't even know if an entity like him was capable of returning feelings, much less reciprocating my own.

It reached a fever pitch when I managed to tip myself into another attack because I'd been very close to confessing what I felt one drunken night. The worry that I'd nearly outed myself had me gasping for air, running off towards a point in the desert where I couldn't be found, except Martin did find me.

He took in all my anxiousness before sitting down on the sandy ground next to me.

“You're gonna make me get fat if you keep workin' yourself up,” he makes a joke before nudging me. “What's goin' on, sweetheart? You've not had a bad one for a while.”

“It's nothing.”

“Don't lie to me,” he grips my chin, forcing me to look at him as his eyes peer over his heavy rimmed glasses. “If I shoulda earned anything by now, it's the truth from ya.”

“I don't want to say,” it comes out as a whisper.

“Would it have anything to do with the large amount of romantic panicky feelings I just ingested from you?”

“Martin...I...”

“If you like one of us, we don't mind,” he leans back, using a rock as a pillow. “We feel love just like regular humans do.”

“I don't exactly have a handbook about how you guys work,” I sigh, tracing patterns in the sand, sobering up fast but still feel the encroaching thud in my head.

“Simple, we're the same as you but we have a different way of getting energy,” he shrugs. “That's all there is to it. So go on, Boss, go make a move on whoever it is. This is all about making you feel free after all. No sense in comin' with us if you're hiding things deep down. That's not gonna help you.”

“So just like that? I go up to that person and just blurt it out?”

“Yeah? Why not?” he looks at me and this is the first time I can't read his expression.

Normally Martin's an open book but the guardedness of his eyes really threw me for a loop. I couldn't get any kind of vibe off of him.

“What if they don't like me back? Doesn't that make it awkward?”

“No. We won't treat you any different, Boss and stop doing that. You're getting worked up again,” he notices me twisting my fingers nervously. “There's only so much Michelin star dessert a guy can have before you kill me with it.”

“I'm sorry, Martin. I just....”

“Hey hey,” he sits up, taking my shoulders and rubbing them to calm me down. “This is not the asskicker you've become. Don't fall back into the scared little girl you were. You're better than that. Seven months ago you never would've fought back if someone pushed ya. Now you're as much of a leader of the Rowdy Three as I am. You've earned that. You're the most terrifying sonovabitch with a tire iron I've ever seen and that's amazing.”

I throw all caution to the wind, put aside my fear and just let everything tumble out. Martin's soft expression is giving me the courage to put it all out there.

“It's you. You're the one I like....the one that I...love. Shit, may as well get everything off my chest. **I love you so much** , Martin and I've been too scared to say anything,” I can feel my heart pounding as I wait for his reaction.

First he doesn't do anything, then gradually he begins smile and then he lets out such a loud howl into the night that every creature for miles around starts joining in.

“Well I was hoping it'd be me,” one hand goes to my cheek. “You see, I have feelings too. I love you too, Boss. Been waitin' to see if you showed any signs of liking me back.”

“Really?”

“Really, sweetheart. You and me, we share the same type a' soul. Wasn't any other outcome for me but falling for ya. Can I kiss you?”

“Hell yeah you can,” I laugh out of relief as he leans forward to close the gap.

The last of my worries left at that point and I was entirely focused on the soft and considerate kiss Martin gave me. Even though he was fairly wild and impulsive, he always took great care to be gentle around me.

“HELL YEAH! GO GET SOME, BOSS!” Vogel yells from the top of the van as Cross and Gripps join in too. “WOOOO!”

All Martin does is give them the sternest look over the top of his glasses and the three guys just fall silent immediately, slinking down back to the campfire. I still needed to learn how he did that.

“You go guys!” Gripps calls before disappearing from view.

“See, told you everyone would be cool with it,” Martin shrugs. “Now they'll give us some peace n' quiet. What now, Boss?”

“Now you're gonna kiss me some more before we stargaze again and then you'll finally tell me who the hell Dirk Gently is and why the rest of them keep laughing every time his name crops up.”

“I'll tell ya but I'm gonna need a lot a' kisses as a bribe,” the twinkle is back in his eye again.

I just smile back, “I think I can manage that.”


End file.
